One of the most common discussions I have with my buddies over a beer (or, more like a couple of six packs, let’s be honest) is about the way girls talk, chat and understand guys’ messages. Most of my friends have the same challenges in the world of adult dating websites and whenever they want to get laid with a woman they are meeting in a bar or out and about to have some real-life hookups. I know that this can be tricky. Usually, girls who are looking for someone to fuck want to like the person’s looks, but it is not only that. Actually, very often, that is not the main point that you should expect from a girl you like. The right pickup lines do wonders.
Horny girls also like to have sex with someone who can make them laugh. I have personally seen guys who look like Bradley Cooper walking out of bars alone while an average Joe gets laid all the time. If you want to get laid, there is nothing better to learn and develop than your sense of humor. And that skill strikes especially wild on dating sites. That can be a place where your looks comes second to nothing if you don’t know how to entertain.
If you want to know how to start your sex date once you have selected the dating tool that works for you, look into some funny pickup lines that work miracles in chat messages. Sexting will be a breeze when the conversation starts off on a positive note. And trust me (I know I am saying this over and over) jokes open legs in no time, if you know how to do them the right way. Getting laid each time you go online will be something that you not just assume, but expect. Online dating is the right place to test and try your sense of humor and then apply the experience collected to gain advantage over other guys at bars and clubs.
When you engage in chat with the girl you like, it is always good to have at least a few of these at hand. Check out her dating profile to see what will work best from the selection. Some girls will like a more brash language while others will get turned on by soft jokes. These seven pickup lines will serve you in online dating, regardless of the dating site you join:
1.“Can I have your webcam picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”
The most timely chat message, if not quite direct, so you should apply it carefully with horny girls who are already pretty straightforward on their profiles. Avoid being blunt when there is no room for that. You wouldn’t want being left without a present this Christmas now, would you?
2.“Now what’s on the menu? Me-n-u”
Unless you are horny, you are hungry. I get it. Because you can’t ask for some food over a smartphone screen, use this line to find someone to fuck. Assume that the girl you are trying to pick up for getting laid loves grammar, so that she gets the message.
3.“You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line.”
Better safe than sorry. This one is excellent for situations where you want to play safe. Just make sure that the girl you want to end in your bed has some nice features about her when you continue chatting. You don’t want to sound fake.
4.“Are you a Nice girl or a Good girl?”
Raises questions. What is a nice girl, and what is a good girl? When she asks for clarification you can go for the following: “NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.”
5.“I can feel the gluons being exchanged between us.”
Applicable for know-it-alls. Hell, do you know what a gluon is? Me neither. I found this pickup line somewhere and I had to check it out to see who is the champion hooking up using this one. In case you are still wondering, all those atom particles usually end with “on” so this is a sort of a particle. Horny girls don’t usually put PhD degrees in the dating profile section, but at least you will get the question about what gluon is and sound knowledgeable. That turns many women on, guaranteed.
6.“Why do men become smarter during sex? Because they are plugged into a genius.”
Another smartass variant. For justification why it will get you laid on online dating sites, check above.
7.“My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That’s where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas.”
The trickiest of all, only applicable to girls that want to find some to fuck and find something funny in very difficult situations. Good job that the Chilean mine situation turned out well for the miners in the end. It should turn out well for you, too.
The key conclusion: do not take these too seriously, relax, enjoy and let us know how it all went!
